I can't smile
I can't be bright
I can't be pure
I can't be innocent

but I try acting like that so everyone could accept me in this world. Just pretend myself to be good person, cheerful and strong but still I can't hiding it.

I just need someone who I can share my life with, whether it is positive or negative, do it together what we want to do. Just want be together and there's no gap between us because you're part of me where ain't prefect our life without one of us there. I think this is called a 'soulmate'. Yeah, I think it is hard to find it.

I mean do it together just a like we both have the same interest, feel wonderful together and feel pain together. I love to try something new whether it is give benefit or destroy to ourself, i just want to try and feel it. You may stop me from do it that but you will not let me doing it alone. 

If you really think you can't even do what I am do then you're not leave me alone or talking shit on my backside because you're knowing my faith is different from yours. When you're alone you will find me and do what we want to do together but once you're have someone really love you or other friends, you can't even follow me or I feel that we already have a gap between us where you're starting feeling I am stranger and I also feel it. Sometime, I think that why would this happened? How close we are before then you're just forget it all?

There's no true love on that world

I think that I am living on the both side of the world where I am acting like a character not to good as Solehah girl or bad as evil girl. I could be both beside I am living on sin city, full of party, one night stand, drug, gangster, smoke and drink but still I want to find a true love, I thought they are there but I was mistake. It is full of lie and fake. I am so naive.